I cannot believe what I am reading. Hand in your petrolhead badge and join the Tesla cult, you uncultured swine.

Woah, steady there cowboy.

Before you crucify me for claiming such a thing, let me explain myself.

No.

You can shut it.

I was looking at pictures of the latest 992 Turbo when the thought entered my psyche: “I wouldn’t mind if the next ‘Turbo’ was electric…”

What in the name of Porsche-almighty has possessed you?

At first, I thought the month-old silverside beef I’d had for lunch was making me delusional, but then I gave it some more thought and realised that maybe I wasn’t ill…

No. You are ill.

Think about it.

The 911 Turbo has always been about relentless speed, face-tearing grip, and this-should-not-ride-this-well comfort.

It’s Porsche’s King David; a frustratingly talented sports car with a knack for slaying giants.

What better powertrain for such a vehicle than a torque-rich electric one with a Jekyll and Hyde split personality?

But what about the noise?

What about it?

Past 911 Turbos have hardly been gifted vocalists.

Granted, they have always sounded a little… muted.

You are being polite. The fact of the matter is there exist more melodic vacuum cleaners.

Not that it’s a problem. No one buying a Turbo cares much for acoustics. If you want a 911 to serenade you, buy a GT3.

What are you saying?

I’m saying there are no good reasons for the next 911 Turbo to be powered by petrol and plenty of reasons for it to be powered by electrons.

But what about range?

Name a 911 Turbo owner who is traveling more than 350km in a single stint.

If I’m lucky, my bladder will last 90 minutes before it needs to release its contents.

“Release its contents”. Classy.

You are a child.

So range isn’t an issue. What about weight? Batteries are heavy.

So is fat. Why don’t you lay off the cookies for a while big fella? That’ll fix the weight issue you’re so concerned about.

That one hurt.

Sorry. Got a bit carried away there.

To answer your question properly, yes, batteries are heavy. However, if anyone can make a heavy car feel nimble, it’s Porsche. In fact, they already have. Their all-electric 4-seat Taycan Turbo S is proof. I haven’t read a single review of that car that has slated it as lethargic. And yet, it weighs a colossal 2,295 kg.

That’s more than a Range Rover.

460kW and 1,050Nm helps.

I’m sure it does.

Alright, I’m convinced.

Glad to hear you’ve come to your senses.

Now to convince the rest of the internet.

An electric Porsche 911. Sacrilege or brilliant?

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