Contrary to popular belief, the Rolls-Royce Phantom is not the best car in the world.

When Sir Henry Royce introduced the Rolls-Royce Phantom to the world in 1925 it was awarded the title of ‘The Best Car in the World’ by the cognoscenti.  Since then, each iteration of the classic nameplate has been declared unquestionably perfect by journalistic parrots and showered with shallow, habitual praise. However, the oft-overlooked fact of the matter is that the Phantom, for all its brilliance, has a crippling and fatal flaw: its dashboard.

In spite of the media's chronic waffling about how the Phantom is something approximating the automotive equivalent of the second coming of Christ, I simply cannot forgive it for having such an underwhelming dashboard design. Sure, each car is assembled by hand and befitted with only the most lavish—and often unsavoury—materials, but the design itself is utterly disappointing. It looks unimaginative, dull, and, dare I say it, cheap. If I spent the best part of a million dollars (!) on a Phantom, I would forever be covering the dash with a sheet of velvet lest my friends catch a glimpse of the hideousness that lies behind and mock me.

Indeed, Rolls seem to agree. In 2021 they introduced the optional 'Phantom Privacy Suite': an electrochromatic glass panel that can stop passengers from viewing the dash. Rolls claim it's designed to create a "discreet sanctuary" for rear-seat passengers, but we all know it's to protect the owner from embarrassment.

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