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DISCLAIMER: the following content is SATIRICAL and was created purely for entertainment purposes. No advertisements produced are official products of Alfa Romeo, nor should they be considered as such.

I have so much respect for two-dollar store owners. They have essentially figured out how to commercialise landfill.

I don’t care if you’re the most pragmatic person on planet earth and live your life by a spreadsheet. Each and every one of us has been tempted by a useless item in one of these stores at one time or another.

“Ah yes, I do need a ketchup bottle shaped like a dachshund.”

And what is with the prices in these places?

I went into one the other day and could not believe the extortion that was taking place.

I’m talking about bath mats for $80. Poker sets for $150.

It’s like they’re running their own currency, with no concept of actual value.

Two-dollar shop. The name is misleading. If their advertisements were honest, then they would be called ‘Lots-of-Dollars’ shops. Or the ‘the tip’.

Which leads me to my new series: If [insert brand] ads were honest.

Inspired by the legendary work of Sniff Petrol, I’ll be producing honest [not] advertisements for a manufacturer of choice.

Today’s focus is Alfa Romeo. Enjoy.

Alfa Romeo Tonale

Alfa Romeo Giulia

Alfa Romeo Stelvio

Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio GTA-M

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