There are two types of men in this world: Those that can grow beards and those who can only muster embarrassingly sporadic displays of pubic hair on their face.
I am of the latter group.
Facial hair is a frustrating enigma. No matter how hard you try, genetics ultimately decide whether you end up looking like George Clooney or spend the rest of your days being mocked for looking twelve years old.
Early on in my adult journey, I resigned myself to the fact that I may never grow a luscious brush. I also made a promise to never compensate by growing a pathetic, wiry moustache – a trap many young men fall into.
I can only presume Lamborghini fell victim to this craze when they decided to give the Aventador SVJ its awkward, moustache-esque vents on either side of the front badge.
I could forgive it this design misdemeanour if the rest of the SVJ’s face didn’t look like a backyard hack job. But I can’t because it does. There are creases upon creases and its mouth and surrounding aero are needlessly complicated. In another life, it could have been a guest on Botched.
Amusingly, it would appear that Lamborghini has since realised the error of its ways. The Aventador’s final send-off, the ‘Ultimate’ edition, sports a much more resolved front end (see image below). They even shaved the ‘stache off. Thank the heavens.
What were they thinking?